The Unfriendly Ghost

Murderous specters in chains. About as classic a ghost tale as we can have. Brings to mind Jacob Marley clanking about in Scrooge’s place. It’s almost not free verse. It has a rhythm to it that only breaks two or three times.

“Every link wrapped around my neck
A memory that he'd like to forget”

That’s pretty awesome. When I read that it forces me into a pattern where there are “rests” like music.

“I see his visage in the mirrors
Superimposed on my own reflection”

Maybe try that. Just a suggestion. Might make it more “dressy”. I like superimposed. Let’s face it a haunting of this sort is an imposition. Ah subterfuge. Lol

Good work,
Tim

Hello, RoseBlack,
The sound and the movement draws the reader into the essence of your poem. I feel the heaviness of "him" getting closer, or perhaps more revealing, from within. I wonder about the line: "The only way to set him free, is by killing me." Are you trying to set him free, or is he trying to set him(self) free?
Thank you!
L

you should look into ways to keep him from coming downstairs, that might frustrate him enough, that he would leave of his own accord. I know, set Kylee on him! LoL This is brutally pointed and menacing, good Halloween material! ~ Geez.
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