inbetween

inbetween people and objects is transformations to prepare for the next realities
like days of the week like in the park between trees something in the air
birds anmals insects experience this the interplay sunshine and leaves shadows
expectation different than realites in the summer morning fog

About This Poem

Last Few Words: i hope this makes people feel and think

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Massachusetts middlesex

Favorite Poets: shelly pope shakespeare dryden robert frost ee cummings t

Comments

Good write.

Good write.
You can break the poem lines more than this to make it simple.

I agree

Maybe try this

inbetween people and objects
are transformations
to prepare for the next realities
like days of the week
like in the park, between trees
something in the air
birds, animals, insects
experience this, the interplay
sunshine and leaves, shadows
expectation different than realities
in the summer morning fog

That’s how I read it as far as pacing. I corrected a few typos too.

I think it’s great. Nice job with the images.
Tim