Neopoem Of The Week Contest September 25th to October 1st 2022

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the afternoon before the great storm

the grass quivered slightly with thickening tension,
dark clouds like graphite smudge fell hard off dusk’s shoulder
Diffused to cover the bloodied sun
that already has been given its last rites to sink.

on the horizon where the stars and frosted glass table sea merge,
flocks of seabirds emerge under the gray low light
as if a volley of arrows shot inland from invisible ships
following closely, the low waves of foaming spilled cream
crashing onto the bayonet rocks in the shore.

and dense electrified wind brought with it a distant hum, a wailing,
taste of grief, that feels alien, heavy, moist and cold
strange air not from this land, where humidity is abundant as despair
but carried from someplace harsh, furious and vengeful
an omen of bad things waiting beyond, soon to come.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Republic of the Philippines.

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

Comments

Wow!...

This is a written picture of what one might see in the calm before the storm. I have been through a couple of hurricanes and tropical storms, both here in the Northeast of the U.S. and the deep South. There is nothing in nature that compares to a huge storm on the horizon. I love the whole last verse! It truly brings to mind the feeling one gets in the before the storm! Nicest job! ~ Geezer.
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