the ocean goes all the way back
to the beginning of everything
when in some dark indeterminate time
old gods cast whips of lightning
and rained molten glass
fragments of my old self floated adrift
in lonely still water silence,
among deformed creatures,
hideous face of primeval life yet to
take a familiar shape and learn to speak
now my body and being have merged
into wholeness, into a singular life
the sky flows inverted to the end of time
opposite the cobalt sea
nothing is ever permanent
but ink-stained black
someday,
i will shatter again into many pieces,
flesh and energy shall detach,
in a final act
what relic hardens into ivory
and crumbles to silver dust
shall be returned to its rightful owner,
ancient saltwater of the sea
and a human-shaped warmth
that tells an old tale of life
where once a whole man,
flesh and being
breathed and dreamed on these shores,
his toes licked by the glass waves
in the outline
where departure and arrivals met,
and the past kissed the future looking away
into the oil pastel sun
my warmth that separates from the body
in the final act,
the winnowing of life
my seed, taken from its shell husk
shall be scooped by the upward draft
of the feverish hot winds
into the jet stream currents
in a long, slow circular voyage to the edge
where, as a wise old man whispered to me,
everything truly dies.
Comments
Your title...
is okay, a little bland but, okay. I think only thing I see where I might be of help, is...
[and crumble[s] to silver dust]. Otherwise, a good piece, that makes a good point; everything comes full circle in the cycle of life. ~ Geezer.
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thank you for the honest
thank you for the honest reply, i will try to spice it up from time to time when I can. and as for your correction, yeah I did miss that, I will correct it promptly. thanks again for the review.
cycle of life
Hello, Celso,
So many wonderful images to take in here...gods casting whips of lightning - and from there, the language continues to grow more and more beautiful. Each stanza is well developed and descriptive, and brings the entire poem into a truly lovely flowing cycle of life. The eighth stanza (second to last, if I'm counting correctly) defines the personal level of the poem, almost a surrendering nature. I love your choice to use the word "winnowing" - soft and reflective. I like your title, especially without the usage of the word "The" at the beginning. Very introspective and unique. Beautiful images throughout.
Thank you!
Lavender
thanks for reading and the
thanks for reading and the wonderful compliment. have a wonderful day.