Casualty Of War

Awoke by the distant sounds of the drums of war

Want me to take the lives of people I never saw before

They tell me that they are the enemy so they must die

I am sure they are telling the other side the same lie

I find myself buried in a (far away) muddy foxhole

Encircled by darkness as the (cannon’s) smoke blows

I write a blood soaked letter to send to no one at all

As bullets fly by me those around me start to fall

I know that I will soon die like so many have before

To be marked down simply as a casualty of war

Just a few typos or grammatical corrections in parentheses.

I think I like I the way you have it here. I haven’t read enough of your stuff yet to fully grasp your style. You’ve got great rhyme here but the rhythm is loosely structured. Because of the great rhyming it could be structured really tightly if you wanted to. Sometimes that tight structure is stuffy and boring and also doesn’t sound as personal or conversational.

All around great work here,
Tim