c lynn brooks
Jul 19, 2022

Would It Be So Wrong

Would it be so wrong
for one to sell a soul
to get two wishes
they had wished for all their life

Is it so wrong to
want all that peace and love can bring

A life of poverty,abuse and disdain
the shreds of lies caught in the spiders web
like confetti spread throughout

So they ask again
would it be so wrong
would it be so wrong
would it be

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I'm Back lol

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north carolina usa, USA

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen

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More from this author

Comments

T

It's free verse for sure. The only conclusion the reader can arrive at is; "No, it wouldn't be so wrong"...to grab some happiness and love regardless of the cost.

Jim

Geezer

confetti wiggling in a spider's web! I get the vision of a party and the spider was having a good time. Says; "I'll clean up tomorrow, it's late and I'm tired." LoL~ Geez.
.

Geezer

didn't mean to be so flip about a subject that is obviously a heartache. I think we have all sold our souls at one time or another. Sometimes, I put my mouth in gear, before pushing in the clutch! Maybe it tugged too hard at the strings attached to my heart. In that case, I think you managed to put the reader in your shoes. Great job! ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

it would be wrong to sell the only thing that we are born with to grow old and take with us into the void. that is my opinion.

love ya, Cat & eddy

Rosewood Apothecary

Would it be so wrong
for one to sell a soul
to get two wishes
they had wished for all their life

Is it so wrong to want
all that peace and love can bring

A life of poverty, abuse and disdain
the shreds of lies caught in the spiders web
like confetti spread throughout

So they ask again
would it be so wrong
would it be so wrong
would it be

I added a space which was a typographical error and I moved “want” up a line in the second stanza. Those were my only suggestions to a beautiful poem. Please take my suggestions gently.

Nice job,
Tim

C

Thank you for the corrections and your comments they are appreciated