Mr joghe
Mr joghe
Jul 17, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week July 17th through July 23 2022

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I Waited All My Years

With the candle lights
I shot him in a couple
In his briefcase
Painted with hallow tears of coat
That went down in a blur mirror to a dungeon
Not only had he gone, but all after war
With his brodie and dodie.

I counted my shoots with my capture sounds
That won my tosh tears
To ribbon my hand with flower
That kisses the earth and worms;
Like a dummy, I waited all my years
If anyone would shoot my briefcase in a couple.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The briefcase means coffin. The shoot means to press the camera captured button. The setting of the poem is the cemetery. I was invited there as cameraman... I was thoughtful.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Osun, NGA

Favorite Poets: William Wordsworth

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Comments

RoseBlack

Take on your experience. Thank you for your explanation as it now makes perfect sense.

Jackweb

Reminiscing about your past experience sometimes is good but don't focus on it. Allow all to fizzle out and be who you reallly are.
.

Candlewitch

I really like the imagery and metaphors, they make the piece of work striking!

always, Cat