Forté
Yesterday rolled slowly,
Like the tired legs of a pregnant mother,
Pushing on, just enough to hold survival
It's strength to go on, languishing persevere
Forté clings-clutches willing's mind
To see tomorrow's bogus in view,
Brings peaceful assurance
Then with a sigh from beneath,
'All will be fine'... urging on consciousness
Steps out to birth future's great.
@sheddie
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
hello,
in the first line: Yesterday (rolled) slowly, try: (trudged or lumbered) pregnant women don't roll.
keep working on it. say the lines out loud and it will help.
*hugs, Cat
~
Thanks a lot ❤️
Thanks a lot ❤️
I don't see...
that the title, Forte' has much to do with the theme. Forte' meaning strong point or strength.
To see tomorrow's bogus in view? The word bogus means fake, untrue or lies. I not sure how that brings
peaceful assurance. I think you should look up these words and those that you are unfamiliar with. ~ Geezer.
.