Empty streets, distraught zone
It's quiet and empty in all places
In fear and tears we walk alone
Forlorn looks on saddened faces
One man jailed for a whole nation
In solidarity we take our chains
And where he goes we march on
In his loss we find our gains
What's become of the blood-letting
Even the loudest of voices are silent
They loot, they destroy in profit getting
Dead bodies litter wherever they went
Seems like the devil has made east his encampment
Corpses and blood eaten and drank in sacrament
I like the solidarity in our cause
We must fix our broken laws
This rollercoaster is a déjà vu
Now we sit at home me and you
How long it'll last we don't know
A fearsome monster it will grow
After full circle it will turn around
When it has reached it's full course
In all our land peace will abound
If in one accord fairness we endorse
Comments
hello Ifeanyichukwu
thank you for explaining the Sit-At-home part of your poem and title. I really liked these Lines:
After full circle it will turn around
When it has reached it's full course
In all our land peace will abound
If in one accord fairness we endorse
I like it because it ends with hope...
There's hope
Yes Cat, I'm very hopeful that things will get better.
Thank you for your time.
Well done...
I do believe that this is the best I've seen from you!
Your pattern, rhythm and rhyme are especially good!
Just one little bobble here and it is in the third
and last lines of the fourth stanza.
I do believe that you can make a better rhyme here.
How about:
"I like the solidarity in our cause
We must fix our broken laws"
Of course, if that is contrary to what you wish to say
I understand that you may want to use some other means
of saying what you really want to say.
All-in-all, a great poem that many should say is top-notch
for it's ideas and well thought out writing. Good job! ~ Geezer.
.
Thank you Geezer
You know what, I had you in mind and deliberately did a rhyme scheme poem this time. I guess it turned out beautifully.
Thank you for the critique and have effected the correction. Looks good!
Excellent !
You have intelligently weaved a beautiful poetry! I sighted your title: sit at home! I knew this voice was coming from a soul - brother!
Nnamdi Kanu's incarceration had caused an uproar and destruction of lives and properties! Dark clouds now looms every where! But we must continue fighting for our freedom and break away from this british forceful marriage called 'OneNigeria!'
The federal government must give us the referendum. That's where we all stand.
KANU is a prisoner of conscience! A freedom fighter for our generation.
Hearty congratulations for this piece!
My soul-brother, it pains me
My soul-brother, it pains me seeing the travails we have to pass through. So much destruction in a land of promise.
This too shall pass.
Thank you for stopping by.
Regards.
You are welcome brother!
You are welcome brother!