Geezer
Geezer
May 08, 2022
This poem is part of the challenge:

Neopoet Challenge Contest # 15

(Read More...)

It's Hard To Breathe...

My lifeline is a thirty foot tube
breathing is a bit hard today
Can't run or sing, do most anything
That tube is always in the way

So much water, rain in the air
Makes it very hard to breathe
Carry them tanks everywhere
Walk too far, I begin to weave

Like a drunken sailor, stumble along
Started smoking in middle school
I was alright, THEY were wrong
Thought the Marlboro Man was cool

I can't do much, I will concede
Watch the window, see people walk
All them cigarettes and smoking weed
My voice too loud, and I've no breath to talk

Yeah, it's hard to breathe today
It's hard to breathe
It's hard to
It's hard...

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Just a friendly reminder, you're not supposed to put anything but air in your lungs!

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

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More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

I started smoking in the 8th grade (back then it was Junior high school) they didn't have middle schools back then. and quit when I was 40. I got up to a pack a day and that was it for me! I have been diagnosed with mild emphysema but I don't need oxygen for it. I can imagine how it could be extremely difficult to breathe and get around. like going upstairs, etc.

your poem is very well written and the imagery is explicit. almost painfully so. I really like how the ending just sort of fades away...like running out of breath!

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 11 months ago

if I'm setting still, not doing anything, but rainy days can be pretty bad. I used middle school because that's what they call it now. It was junior-high back then for me too. I'm stage four, which means that there will be no improvement, ever.
Not complaining or needing a pity-party, just want people to know that there will be consequences if they smoke. It doesn't seem like it, because it happens so slowly. One day, they will find that they can't run after the grandchild or maybe that they have to rest for a minute while getting dressed... Anyway, thanks for the read and comments. ~ Geez.
.

Jackweb

the adverse effect of smoking leads to breathing problems, and chronic respiratory conditions, heart disease, blood circulations problems, dental problem.

Smoking can be a hard habit to kick, and it often leads to symptoms that affects your voice over time.

I just spotted this line: "I was alright, THEY was wrong" (were) should be a better one.

Beautifully crafted!