in midst of vicissitudes
you say
let bygones be bygones
how can this be
when one bygone has eloped
bagging along
his inadequacies
beyond boarders unknown
and the other lounged into a hole?
I digress...
and come to think of it
how similarities ring through -
that it rained in Ojoto:
after my grandmother was buried,
after my father was interred,
after my sister went to the grave.
and you may say:
rain is
now a herald of cleansing
a revelation
that their souls have reached
beyond the clouded realm of eternity.
I move on...
these vicissitudes come to town
where everything is in God's hands;
co-harbouring
in a makeshift shade
accommodating spent men -
labourers
hungry and begging
in casting and binding session.
I shake my head...
next to them
a political signage on Trans-Ekulu bridge -
three big fat heads smirking at them
whose god is better?
I wish...
that the rain:
that leveller of realities
can sweep these vicissitudes
down Udi hills to the tributaries
linking the river lines
to the Atlantic's high current.
they sail away...
Comments
The use of upper case is a
The use of upper case is a signal that a new sentence has begun.
So starting a line with lower case is it traditional in poetry or are you trying to bring an effect here?
Beautifully crafted poem.
Hello Cosmos,
Hello Cosmos,
Hope you are keeping well? It's a deliberate style I adopted, lower case all through.
Thank you for reaching out.
Ok, noted
O yes brother, I am doing well nwanne.
hello!
it is nice to see you again! I have found that someone who says "let bygones be bygones" usually has a lot they want taken off their shoulders. I guess it depends on the context in which it is presented.
I usually use lower case, too, except for the word (I) and things that really call for upper case, such as names and places, etc.
in this line: and the other lounged into (a) hole?
beyond (the)clouded realm of eternity.
to (the)Atlantic's high current.
these were my favorite lines:
I wish...
that the rain:
that leveller of realities
can sweep these vicissitudes
down Udi hills to the tributaries
linking the river lines
to Atlantic's high current.
they sail away...
*hugs, Cat
Hello Cat, that was a concise
Hello Cat, that was a concise critique. Very well appreciated. Noted and effected the corrections. Thank you!
As I myself...
am not a fan of using lower case throughout a piece, I think that you have [maybe] acheived your objective, in making the conversation with yourself seem unobtrusive, and not aloud. My favorite lines are:
and you may say:
rain is
now a herald of cleansing
a revelation
that their souls have reached
beyond the clouded realm of eternity
I move on...
I was touched by the simplicity of the presentation
and the thoughts. Vicissitudes, a word not often used, but seems appropriate here.
~ Geezer.
.
Thank you Geezer. I
Thank you Geezer. I appreciate your commentary.
Congratulations...
on recieving the award of Neopoem of the Week! ~ Geezer.
.
Congratulations my brothers
Congratulations my brothers.You're now the poet of the week. It was an excellent piece indeed. @Ifeanyichukwu
Congratulations my brothers
Congratulations my brothers.You're now the poet of the week. It was an excellent piece indeed. @Ifeanyichukwu
A well written piece
Left me in comtemplation.
Nice that you have put together all the different places with memories. I find it difficult to put too many places in one piece, unless it is a long one.
Hello Ray, it's quite a task
Hello Ray, it's quite a task putting memories together and it's certainly long. One can give it a try putting it in series or parts.
I appreciate your reaching out to critique.
Regards.
dear Ifeanyichukwu O
congratulations on earning the distinction of "Poem Of The Week". it is an excellent piece of work!
keep writing. and I'll keep reading!
*hugs, Cat
*
Thank you so much Cat. I
Thank you so much Cat. I appreciate your always reaching out to read and critique. This makes me get better. This is a win for us all.
Regards.