Jackweb
Jackweb
May 02, 2022

BEAUTY ON SPOTLIGHT

Your curvy backside has become a sweet side
now you have proudly enveloped to pride
and your walking gait stirs men's emotion
an international lady magnet in motion

your curvy bottom is shaped like an umbrella
the same with the girl I know called Stella
your symmetrical beauty has glued the moon
and your attraction will bring many men soon

oh my goodness, look at your cleavage
I have stood a long time beyond my average
staring steadily on your attractive out look
what a powerful charm SHINES like a brook

I'ill now compare your backside as bullion van
they boys will try as much as they can
to win your heart as much as possible
'cause your bottom attraction is irresistible

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Imo State - Republic of Biafra(Nigeria), NGA

Favorite Poets: Late Christopher Okigbo

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

is the title misspelled? do you want Spotlight? instead of Sportlight?

in this Line: your curvy butt shaped like umbrella : try your curvy (bottom) (is) shaped like (an) umbrella.

I have stood (a) long time beyond my average
a very nice poem which highlights the charms of a woman and your attraction and appreciation of them! Good title. you have continuity throughout. I enjoyed it very much!

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 11 months ago

I can see what you're looking for in a woman! LoL
Nice work, I guess that Cat has said all that I would have said. I think that you mentioned that you have stood a long time behind your average, staring at her cleavage? They don't really rhyme that closely, but the real question is what does your average say about that? Has she caught you? Better be careful in letting the average woman seeing you staring at above average; you will have to hide the knives and sleep with one eye open. ~ Geez.
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Jackweb

Thank you for this correction. I had wanted to write spotlight. I am working on them now.

Jackweb

Geezer✓ Has she caught you? Better be careful in letting the average woman seeing you staring at above average; you will have to hide the knives and sleep with one eye open. ~ Geez.

As I was reading your comments I engulfed in laughter! Very comical statement indeed.

Thank you a lot for reading.