Blush (by: eddy styx)

Blush...

I adore sunsets most
especially when they bleed,
colors running rampant
emotions on the feed.

when I am on the prowl
when I am on the hunt,
after years of practice
my tools will not blunt.

sometimes my knife is best
for a quick and easy kill
letting her see the blade first,
gives me a profound thrill.

my hands upon her throat
causes a pretty rosy flush
my excitement will always rise,
when I can manipulate her blush.

now be it known from here to there
I loved her hard, I loved her well.
I held her secrets close to my chest
not a one of these did I ever tell.

I like to sustain the moment of terror,
gazing deep into her widened eyes
it is better than a hit of meth
just imagine her surprise.

after her soul had departed
she lay seemingly in sweet repose.
the only question to remain
is the body where to dispose?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I need help with the sections and their placement. does it seem that way to anyone else? * eddy styx is my Male, murderous alter ego who writes dark poetry.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Sis,

a bleeding sunset must be about as nature themed as eddy will get!!

It reads like the opening chapter to novel that I would definitely read. The novel I am imagining would actually lead up to this moment.

How you slide into the eddy alter-ego & become a poet from a different perspective to Candlewitch amazes me.

Regards

One

hello One,

what amazes me is that you can see the duality and the differences between Cat and me. thank you, One. I'd like to see what you could do with you duality ;

ever, eddy

*hugs, Cat

The placement...

of your sections are fine.
I like your title; it is in keeping with the theme.
Your language use is great, plain without big noise.
The pacing is very good, the theme is one that is very familiar in eddy's writing
Only one place I would change, since you used [sweet] in the previous line, I would change
the following line to: is where the body to dispose?

Use or discard my opinions and comments as you will. ~ Geez.
.