Emotions In Colors
yellow:
color of the bright moon
casting shadows
where I hide my intentions.
grey:
still too much light
for my tastes, just not right,
much time spent in waiting.
silver:
laughter turned to a scream,
no way out from this
she wishes it all a dream.
red:
are her dress and hair
her fate is evident
in her unholy despair
black:
like a new moon I rise,
to hunt and kill
as she slowly dies!
Comments
The title is good...
your language use equally so. Shivers to these lines: "Silver, laughter turned to a scream"
. " in shadows in which hide I intentions."
[Actually, I would change this line to: where I hide my intentions].
Ahhhh, good old eddy; up to his tricks I see. Nice job! ~ Geez.
.
thanks Geez,
I appreciate you catching my mistake. thanks for the suggestion. good luck on the contest.
ever, eddy
*
Great!
I love the flow of this poem. And I love how you accosted colors with emotions. This is really good. Thanks for sharing.
hello Tracey,
thanks for the read and the response!
ever, eddy
very great
may scan mine drafted
yes, lovedly,
good idea!
ever, eddy
Exquisite!
Beautiful composition. I love the way you presented your poetic devices in the poem.
Apt and very interesting verse!
thank you Jack!
you should write one, too, and enter the contest!
ever, eddy styx
*
Sure,
I will definitely compose.
Sis,
Sis,
I couldn't wait to get my teeth into an Eddy piece.
I am sitting here satisfied in the delicious sinister approach this poem takes.
Your words put us in the shoes of Eddy, we feel, smell, taste, hear & see how he does...it is not a pleasant feeling but somehow I feel at home there.
regards
One
dear One,
that is because you have such great versatility and in abundance! you have extraordinary imagination to slip you into any situation and run with it!!!
ever, eddy
Changes...
I like the changes you made, but I think that the last line of the first stanza,
needs to have the full word [hidden] written out. Since that part of the poem is not in rhyme,
it doesn't change the meaning or the meter and it sounds better. Hugs, Geez.
.
thanks Geez,
I'll tale care of it now.
ever, eddy
Wow.
Excellent weaving of beautiful lines...
Giving different thoughts in colors!
Thanks for sharing Cat!
dear jack,
that poem was my male alter ego's poem (eddy styx) but thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
*
Yes indeed
Yes indeed
:)
thanks Jack!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
Yeah
You are welcome