Abby
Abby
Feb 25, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

the MY POEM contest

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My Poem [Sixteen]

I’m only sixteen.
I know only a piece of the puzzle
Yet the shapes of every edge.
Isn’t that the most frightening tragedy?

I spend my days chasing fantasy
that I create to keep fear at bay.
The cracks in my pavement
are widening and splitting.

I spend the days trying to forget,
trying to live in the clouds
Just so I won’t have to face the sunlight.
The clouds pass. I can’t hide.

I run into future days- thinking only the worst.
My youth shields me today,
But someday the shade will fall away
I won’t be able to run, but I’m only sixteen.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Favorite Poets: Shakespeare

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

it shows the maturity
you are beginning to obtain. I get it.
When we are sixteen, we have most of the pieces
and know the shapes, but not how to put them all together.
It's tough! But at least you know where you are.

You should use the plural of fantasy [fantasies]
in the first line of the second stanza.

Try [I'm spending] the days [1st line, third stanza]

but the clouds pass, [and] I can't hide

[And I won't be able to run,] delete the [but].

Keep writing, you are doing well, I like your ideas. ~ Geezer.
.

Candlewitch

I've found that deleting most of the "ands and buts" is a good rule of thumb. one way to see if they are necessary or not is to read the piece without them. I usually find the poem reads better without them. by the way, I do like your poem...it took me back in time ;)

*hugs, Cat