Owl Has My Soul
Sep 17, 2021

Dancing With Rabbits (Expanded)

A wriggled nose invitation
To dance into myself.
A shout of joyous salvation.

Dappled skin;
What a grin!

Rebirth is the
Season and Reason,
Jump in!

With a splash and a spray,
The happy whiskers
Carry me away.

To the fountain within.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I will post the original in the comments below. I liked the original but always felt it could be longer. I just did not want to ruin the feeling it created. What do you think of the expanded version?

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Canada, BC

More from this author

Comments

O

A wriggled nose invitation
To dance into myself.
A shout of joyous salvation

Dappled skin;
What a grin!

With a slant and a sway
The happy whiskers
Carry me away.