Now

Each instance of existence
is the truth of my reality,
fleeting moments riding high
on spreading waves of past
into all futures.

I am not made of past,
for as new moments
turn to then, it dies;
I am not future,
nebulous, undreamed of
by new choices not yet made;
I am neither then nor when,

I am this now,
immediate in present,
a life upon the cresting apex:
behind me, withered and forgotten past,
before, bright chaos undefiled by choice...

I am the now,
the point of highest amplitude.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

now

I'm going to make a comment now...........oops too late. I'll do it now..damn! not fast enough. I'll do it(comment) NOW....ha! I beat it to the punch. All jokes aside too many live in the regret of the past and fear of the future.An enjoyable read...................scribbler

LOL Thanks Stan,

Glad that you enjoyed this. Yes, too many do just as you say. Happily, I stopped in 2001. Seems to be working just fine!

A few thoughts:

Stanza 2:
*for it dies as -- I feel like this line wants finality rather than flow. Maybe: for it dies. (stop)/Each new moment . . .
*I am neither then nor when -- I have mixed feelings about putting this at the end of the stanza. Part of me wants it at the beginning because the line "turns to then" was a stumbler for me initially, until I read this one.

I know this is freeform but wonder what you'd think of some symmetry, e.g.,

I am not made of past
for it dies.
Each new moment
turns to then,
I am not future,
nebulous,
undreamed of
I am neither then nor when

Stanza 3:
*I am right now, -- "Right now" seems a little weak. This line seems to call for more punch, e.g., "I am now"
*immediate in present, -- Again, I think this could be punchier without "in"
*before, bright chaos undefiled by choice... -- Just commentary here. I find the use of "defiled" interesting. I never really think of my choices as defiling. Defiling what? Infinity?

Stanza 4:
I am the now,
the point of highest amplitude.

I think this is a great ending and I thought the cresting wave image was very appropriate.

Arrow

Wow man, it is good to see you! Welcome back.

Stanza 2: I agree, and the flow really was off too, so I rewrote with your opinion in mind.

Stanza 3 I think I'll leave alone except for one minor change in the first line, as I like the cadence. Using "Defiled"...for me chaos is a pure state of being, from which order subtends due to both presence and choice, hence the use of the word.

Stanza 4. I started with these two lines, and had that very image of a wave about to crest as I wrote them.

Thanks Arrow, I have missed your keen eye and poetic skill.

Thanks for your comment Bee,

Glad you enjoyed this!

Jim

Jim,

I have read the comments already supplied and feel they have pretty much covered the potential changes that would turn this from 'good' to 'exceptional'.

Existance - is normally spelt 'existence'...unless this is an American spelling, although my American spellchecker doesn't recognise your spelling.

Would the first line still work like this:

Each instance of existence.

I did enjoy this write and really liked the final two lines.

regards,

Dan

Thanks for the read and opinion. I have made some changes based on earlie comments, and the "existance" thing...well, I hate spell-checker, it always throws me off because I'm watching the screen as I type, lol. Thanks for the correction.

Hi Shirl

No regrets, no second-guessing, and absolutely NO DWELLING.

LOL

Glad you liked this one.