Geezer
Geezer
Nov 25, 2010

Travel...

I met a Japanese man
Poetry talking we did
Somber old Haiku

His wife sat silent in back
His vision made me see him
She wasn't there though

Flying to Australia
Seeing family again
She smiles her remarks

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

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More from this author

Comments

S

a succinct description of the way the relationship between a man and wife in a traditional Japanese marriage might be......scribbler

Geezer

my thought as I drove away from the airport. He seemed to look fondly at her for the good job she did of raising a fine son. She was content to just nod, and smile. I think theirs was the kind of relationship that needed few words between them. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Gee

loved

loved

14 years 5 months ago

they bow

no one knows

what they mean

when they say
whou whou

Then bow bow bow
even
Obama did

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

for the little Haiku. I'm not sure about the form, because there are so many, but it rolls right off the tongue, and gives the right scene, so who cares? I liked it! Thanks, ~ Gee

Geezer

that she was very personable, even though she never said a word,[ maybe hello, when I said I was there to take them to the airport.] her face and demeanor said everything there was to say. Shy, but not subservient, proud but not blatantly so. Thanks for the read, ~ As ever, ~ Gee

Geezer

that this one was so well recieved. I wrote this over a period of a few days. I wanted to capture it as I remembered it, and how it made me feel. I worked real hard at it, because it struck me so powerfully. i haven't been my best lately, and was down for a couple of days, so I will work at getting all my replies and comments out. Thanks, and "loved" might an often used word, but if it best describes the feeling, I have no problem in using it. LOVE, and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

Candlewitch

I agree with Jayne and Shirl on this piece. These few words paint a giant picture.

love, cat

Geezer

my job then! I hope that the man and woman I wrote this about, would be pleased. I tried hard to capture the essence of what I saw that day, and translate it into Haiku. I would like to think that someday, they will see it, and recognise the day and situation.
Even if they don't, I have the memory of it burned in the ether, and my brain. Thanks for the read, Love ya, ~ Gee

K

Sigh.

Missed this. What a difference between East and West, eh.... a marriage usually is predicated on spoken communication. Ordinarily it is assumed it's because two sitting in silence in a restaurant have little left to say
(not a good thing.)

How wonderful to have perfect communication without language. Then it's a dance between two lovers.

~A

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

between these lovers, wasn't without music. I could hear the refrain, "I love you", playing on their heart-strings, and see the tempo in their eyes. Thanks for the read and the sigh. It says much. ~ Gee

hobo

hobo

14 years 4 months ago

there seems to be a quiet love here. nice write

Geezer

Yes, a quiet love. I might have used that as the title for this piece. Thanks for the read, and the comment. Been reading your work, and think you have been writing some really good stuff. ~ Gee

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 4 months ago

Xena. Being a taxi-driver has given me some great insight as to what people are like. Sometimes you just have to watch a person, and how they relate to others, to gain some measure of their true selves. ~ Gee x

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving, ~ Guy

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 4 months ago

The second stanza, was where He and I spoke of writing Haiku, and she wasn't involved. [She wasn't there] She expressed no interest in our conversation until it turned to the reason for going to the airport. [She smiles her remarks] was meant to show that, while he spoke of traveling to Australia to see their son, she just smiled and nodded. They weren't going home. They live here in America. I had picked them up in the taxi to drive them to the airport. Thanks for the read and comments, ~ Geezer