old man's last hurrah
in yellow fields of laughter-
fresh tulip snow-cones!
Jun 11, 2021
haiku (spring contest)
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
old man's last hurrah
in yellow fields of laughter-
fresh tulip snow-cones!
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
This makes...
me think of drinking dandelion wine from buttercups! Tulip snow-cones could be those frozen icy things you get from the ice cream man. Beautiful colors! ~ Geez.
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Please check is it
5 7 5
Thanks lovedly
It is not. I can't think of a word to put in L3 without disturbing the flow. I thought about it for a while now.
Thomas
Dang...
Dandelion wine...I had a friend when I was young whose father made different wines. He gave me a dusty bottle of that for a date I was going on. I think if he had known how nice it came out, he might have given me something else, (but then you could never tell with him) Thanks for waking that memory and thanks for reading.
Thomas
You could use...
most any one syllable color. Red, blue, white. [ Blue is the one I like. ]
~Geez.
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That actually helped
me think a little broader. I think I'm happy with it now. Thanks Geezer
Thomas
Great choice!...
I like it better than my suggestion! ~ Geez.
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