Where Are Those Mormons When you Need Them?...

I've fallen and I can't get up!
I think it's the result of a massage gone wrong
The newest Typo Maniac Anonymous Magazine
Fell with me, but even that sucks
Because my glasses are on the table!

No one will come looking for me
Until Tuesday, so here I am waiting
The kids are all at grandma's
While my cell-phone is upstairs on charge
Damn these three day weekends!

I guess the only good thing
Is that they filled the cat's dish with water
And they took the dog with them
Cat chow isn't as tasty as dog nuggets
I've been wanting to go on a diet anyway...

I heard the neighbors leave this morning
Going to that new overnight theme park
And there's that pesky squirrel
Looking in the window, mocking me
Getting his revenge for that new bird-feeder

Guess I'll see if I can drag myself
To grab the T.V. remote from the coffee-stand
Maybe the kids didn't pick up the half a bag
Of cheese balls from the floor last night
Like I told them to

It's almost time for Family Feud!