I know you might think I am gone,
haunted in your dreams
by the sad complaints
of night-dark crows
But with these hands
I have built so many things
Our family, our friends,
our happiness and joy
You still have all of these
Your memory of the smile in my eyes
assures that time will chase away
the ghosts of your pain.
I will find you again in your thoughts
so we can laugh together,
and know that tomorrow
there will be a sky full of sun
Last Few Words: Lost my mother around this time four years ago, so I wanted to compose something that might help me through the grief that still visits from time to time. This maybe helped a little...
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
So Moving
Deeply moving and poignant. This is very touching, filled with gentle love and wisdom.
Thank you. Funny how
Thank you. Funny how beautiful things often seem to be birthed from pain. Appreciate the visit.
Best
Such Truth... I have felt
Such Truth... I have felt that.
Hi Michael, I understand this
Hi Michael, I understand this is your mother who is speaking to you from Heaven or from wherever you believe in. It's poignant, beautiful and sad. So true, though.
I lost two sons and I'm still here, so it's the other way around. I always speak to them and have written poems to them.
Thanks for sharing your lovely poem. The title and all else is perfect, no nits. Gracy