I have seen a scary monster,
In my bed, and lying, lurking underneath.
A dark callous, creepy shadow,
With a broken soul and rotten teeth.
It hides amongst the shadows,
Trying so hard not to be seen,
It is a blacked out hellish nightmare,
The gruesome ghost of every garish dream.
You can look for it behind the wardrobe,
The kitchen sink and behind the loo,
And although you will never find it,
It's fiery eyes will still be watching you.
Last Few Words: I was stuck in A and E and had to wait 3 hours to be seen, there was a boy in the cubicle next to me telling his mum that there was a scary monster under his bed and his mum was very sympathetic and said she would get it when they got home, but the boy insisted that she didn't do that because he wanted to train the monster in the closet to eat his older brother so he could have his much larger room! Lol So I wrote this poem like an ode to the scary monster who sometimes can be useful and children with a great imagination and a wicked sense of humour!
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I think...
in order to make this a bit smoother,
you could do a little edit and it would be really great!
1] In my bed and lurking underneath - delete the [lying]
2] With broken soul and rotten teeth -delete the [a]
3] Change [Trying so hard [not to] be seen] to Trying so hard [to not] be seen
4] And though you'll never find it,
its' eyes will still be watching you. ~ Geezer.
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Lol
I will have to look that up it sounds funny!
No wonder...
kids are so reluctant to be potty-trained these days! LoL. ~ Geezer.
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