I'm Not Alone

Today is a new day
Though It's without sun
Like a shadow it gathered in the cloud
Cutting through my heart like a claw
I feel nothing but a deep cold night
When enemies surround me with their gold knives

Many questions crossed my mind
Like which way should I go?
That's what I always ask myself
Just to know my task
Should I give up on them?

At night fall
It fell like a shower from heaven
Splashed on me like dewdrops
Hitting me with a new hope for a new dawn
As i realize he is still with me.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This poem strengthens hope on God for it reminds us that before God we all are like a dust.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria , abuja

Favorite Poets: Any good poet of my likening

Comments

Hello teddy 15

I very much appreciate your comment you know I always write my poem here on this site before editing them and I think your suggestion is right I will do just so thanks for your help.

It's better this way

I'm somebody who believe in learning for it is the best way to live right, I'm always open and transparent to every one around me because I want to learn and also teach the ones I could, once again thank you.

I'm Not Alone

Hello, Simon,
I feel the struggle and hardship of the new day, and then the welcome realization of hope in your final stanza. Though I am usually not one to quote such things, your poem reminds me of a bible verse: "Weeping may endure through the night, but joy comes in the morning." Very much like your title!
Thank you!
L

Hi lavender

It's good to know that you like my poem this is what we all are meant to do, helping and consoling ourselves thank you very much.

Finding the Images

I think a real challenge in poetry can be to find the images. For me, the best part of your poem is the last stanza:

"It fell like a shower from heaven
Splashed on me like a dewdrops"

This is a beautiful, tactile image of tenderness and refreshment. I would like to see more of this kind of imagery in some of the other lines where the phrases and images are more commonplace, more "tired" (today is a new day, hope for a new dawn, seems like a cloudy day).

I include a wonderful little image that captures that sense of life being so frustrating sometimes that you want a drink as a little example of finding that unique image:

"Perhaps the tulip know the fickleness
Of Fortune's smile, for on her stalk's green shaft
She bears a wine cup through the wilderness"

I found that poem here: https://internetpoem.com/shams-al-din-hafiz-shirazi/the-tulip-poem/. I make no claim that that poem is his actual work as I know there are many poems falsely attributed to him and this might be one.

Thank you arrow

I so much appreciate your comment, I'm glad you see a little image in it in fact that's why it is poetry once again thanks for your comment.