lovedly
lovedly
Feb 14, 2021

Lead gently sweet heart into the night

Lead quietly sweet heart into the night
The first one must remain gentle
Think not of your own confusing delight

Though young men are being polite
None appear to show they are sentimental
Lead gently sweet heart into the night

Bridegrooms never impose upon brides their right
Cuisine they express they like continental
Think not of your own confusing delight

Smart boys always remember the morning twilight
Love their suitors without showing as accidental
Lead gently sweet heart into the night

Loving hubbys always keep theirs in pleasant sight
They admire their state so beautifully ornamental
Think not of your own confusing delight

Now you my friend of the world so bright
Have had a wonderful experience soft and gentle
Lead kindly sweet heart into the night
Think not of your own confusing delight

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is a challenge but FREESTYLE Villanelle Minus the syllables count of which I am incapable.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

lovedly

This piece is conversion in the present form ....of an advice I gave years ago to a young virgin who was scared of the wedding night being inexperienced.

It took me almost 2 hours to compose.
Thanks for the
wonderfullness.
Alan
rgds..

Lavender

Wonderful, Lovedly!
You and Alan are inspiring. I'll give this form another whirl very soon.
Thank you!
L

Lavender

From what Alan has suggested, I believe the syllable count must always be ten. Just looking at your poem, you may want to change a different word here and there for something that fits the count. For example: instead of "the first one" you may want to change to "the first encounter" which will give you the correct syllable count. (Just an example. Encounter is not a very romantic word.) In other areas, it looks like you could trim a few words away and still have your meaning. I am excited to try this form again.
Thank you, Lovedly!
L

Coming back to edit: I believe I read correctly that 19th c. villanelles had 6 - 8 syllables, and 20th c. had 10. So much to learn!