(a North-American Indian Tale)
By the river in the prairie,
By the river clear and sweet,
Stood Prairie Blossom’s cosy tipi
That sheltered her ‘gainst freeze and sleet.
Little Prairie Blossom lived there
With her mother, with her father
(When he wasn’t hunting deer or elk
In the prairie with her older brother).
Now, when dawn cast probing fingers
‘cross the parting night’s horizon,
Prairie Blossom yawned, then slowly
Rose up from her skin of bison,
Said hello to whinnying pony,
That looked up happy at her sight;
gave her pony grass, fresh water
After he had waited there all night.
Prairie Blossom bridled little pony,
Rode without a saddle, bottom bare,
But clouds rolled in, thunder rumbled,
Winds grew strong and pulled her hair.
Prairie Blossom urged her pony,
“Hurry up, and take us back!”
When they reached home, a flash flood
Came and left of them no track.
Comments
Prairie Blossom
Hello, Jerry,
A very appealing theme. Gentle and sad. Brief and quiet. Welcoming first line, and a sober finish. (Nice to hear this tale from Ali Zonak.)
Thank you, Jerry.
L
Hello, dear Lavender;
Ali is delighted to hear from you, dearest lady, and he does not need too much encouragement to regale you with another of his famous American Indian tales in the very near future. Come, join him in his wigwam and share a cup of lavender-scented tea with him. Thank you. Jerry (for Ali Shonak)
Jerry
What an incredible and beautiful write this is so calm and soothing I do so enjoy your writing
Chrys
Dearest Chrys;
I sure appreciate your kind words, dear lady, and I thank you very much for reading and commenting.
Jerry Van
Jerry,
Jerry,
I adore this!
Your third stanza surprised me in a way. First, I want to say that the imagery of the first two lines in the stanza is excellent!
What surprised me, and I really loved, was the combination of "dAWN cast prObing[. . .]" in the first line with the "yAWNed then slOWly[. . .]" In the third.
It sounds so lovely and legitimately made me stop to see what was going on there.
I do have a question regarding your last couple lines.
Even with the rest of the lines not having a particular syllable count, I found those last two lines to be a bit jarring. I was wondering if that was a stylistic/thematic choice.
Also, I found the fifth stanza to be particularly strong.
Really great work!
Hi Raffy,
thank you for liking my North American Indian tale. I tried to render in a clipped, laconic manner; with a somewhat odd style that, nevertheless, serves a purpose, which is, to simulate the storytellers voice. I'm so glad you read my story.
Jerry