The Winter Sky

It rests above the trees
in a soft glory of sleepy hues.
I touch the gray with my eyes,
imagine the softness
of such a cold color -
the sensation of peace
as tall, unclad Tulip trees sway
ever so near,
ever so close
to its unexpected comfort.
I watch the treetops genuflect
in silent homage,
my lashes wet from
falling snow,
my soul free
and content.

***

About This Poem

Last Few Words: What a beautiful snowfall!

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

perhaps Lave

1.ever so near,
ever so close
or
2.
ever so near,
never as close

Hello, Lovedly

I will put some thought into your suggestion!
Thank you for reading and helping me!
L

This is NEO'S

basic duty
not to worry
decision lies with
Lave thee

I like the parts best which

I like the parts best which have clear images (the Tulip tree) or sensory description (wet lashes) and experience the description of your internal states as weaker (I imagine the softness, my soul is free). Is there a way to use those stronger images to convey those internal states instead? I also have trouble visualizing trees rolling back - not sure what I am supposed to be seeing. Nice start to what I could see as being a sensate poem.

Hello, Arrow

Definitely want the internal feelings the beautiful, gray winter sky gave me to be better understood. Also, as I watched the trees sway forward toward the sky, they then seemed to gently "roll" back - but I am not satisfied with that word, either. Hmm...I will work on this one!
Thank you for spending time here and commenting!
Lavender

Hello, Teddy

It was such a cool moment, watching the snowfall from that sky through the bones of the trees. Thank you for sharing your thoughts - you always lend a generous helping hand! xx
L

Hi, Alan

It was a quiet, almost reverent moment watching those trees - "repose" is getting closer to the feeling. The moors during a heavy snow sounds pretty magical - poem-worthy!
Thank you, as always!
L

I was about to...

agree with Teddy on the use of [lean back] until I went back to read this again and see the context of the sentence and was surprised to find the word genuflect! I think that it is precisely the word you are looking for! I love the way you describe the early morning, which is my favorite part of the day! Good stuff!
~ Geez.
. P.S. The wet lashes is a great touch!