I just composed a poem
in my mind it said
rather asked those gone
to eternal homes
to finally rest
what they now think of my poems
the ones they never read.
All spoke in unison
from different corners of the wilderness
in harmonic al chorus
out of all folks
you still are the best
you still remember
the ones murmuring in heaven
silently at peaceful rest
we miss thee
come soonest
we love someone among us
from our last heaven
Earth
Comments
Reflective piece...
I like it, so contemplating...
I would do something about the beginning, tho. Somehow, perhaps a more ethereal input?
Got your mind creative RAY W
can you suggest some views like
THOSE Ghosts
scaring smiles
with looming dark sunken eyes
want to say something
now viciously sly ,,.....
lol
Well, here goes... just my opinion,
Your form is what I’m commenting on. You could have uniform two line stanza, then a three line, then a five line, and then continue the 2-3-5 stanza lines that are already there.
If you separate the second stanza, to have only theee lines, and put the remaining two lines onto the next stanza, then that would make The difference.
rather asked those gone
to eternal homes
to finally rest
what they now think of my poems
the ones they never read.
All spoke in unison
from different corners of the wilderness
in harmonical chorus
And a question... “harmonical”??? Is that a word?
PERFORMED
RW I am a non-conventional poet
freer open verser
add newer words as a
thesaurus creator
lol