VanRyan
VanRyan
Jan 19, 2021

Sonnet 34 by Van (aka JerryK)

Lord, save me from composing poetry
Filled with abstractions, hazy metaphor;
Vague concepts burn this poet’s circuitry
And reading puzzling verses is a bore.
Enrich my rhymes with purposeful intents,
With honest words, and not too literary.
Next, spare me those that read like accidents,
Or failed attempts to rhyme a dictionary.
And let me use enjambments sparingly;
When lines wrap like a vine around the tree
And end stops leave the verse entirely,
Such makes smooth reading somewhat hard on me.
***** Protect me from clichés that are too trite,
***** But should I use one—make it look all right.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Arizona, USA

More from this author

Comments

VanRyan

I'm always delighted to read your sincere comments, good friend. Glad you approve of this sonnet as well. As always, I thank you most-profusely. Have a great day.
JerryK.

Rula

Rula

4 years 3 months ago

A great and enjoyable read as usual, however, I kinda don't agree with you in not using too literary words. Isn't poetry literature, so I thought why not?

VanRyan

it's a lovely rainy day here in my desert town, and therefore I won't spoil it with technicalities, lol. Quickly, what I meant to say is: keep a poem readable for all, those highly educated and those with an average education, and without pompous words that only serve to distract the reader. Thank you for the great comment, dear Rula.
JerryK

Lavender

Hi, Jerry!
I think the Lord saved you! Touche'! Crazy good last line!
Thank you!
L

VanRyan

thank you for the nice comment. Yes, I have been saved, more often than once: the Lord helps those that help themselves, lol. Darn, I'm clever! - Ain't I? Take care of yourself, dear lady. Jerry