Not Fade Away

My fever dream seethes me back to you
I am holding you close
with a desperate tenderness

You are saying goodbye,
but I’m somewhere else
in my fortress of doubt

Your offhand remarks,
the taking a powder looks,
should have made It clear
you were already gone

But dusty blue eyes
and a peach tree smile
give up their secrets reluctantly

Still, I hold on tighter
so you will not fade away
into the black of the night

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A few thoughts on relationships that are on completely different pages.

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Makes me think...

of the time I was dating an older girl, [I was a mere fifteen, she was days away from being twenty] and told her I loved her.
She responded with an under the breath "Oh shit!" and that was when I knew it was over. I didn't have to ask "What is that supposed to mean?" LoL ~Geez.
.

Only funny after the pain

Only funny after the pain went away, I'm sure - thanks Geez!

Yes...

It's true, the pain of the moment is often the worst and as you gain experience in affairs of romance, you find that it is all part of the learning experience; and that, is the balm that soothes the battered heart. ~ Geez.
.

Not Fade Away

Hello, Michael,
"Your offhand remarks..." This stanza is so raw and good, it stings. Excellent poem.
Thank you!
L

Thanks for sharing your

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lavender. The living of that stanza provided several more verses, but it was a challenge to pare it down to what really mattered for the poem.

Best

Hello, Michael,

For me, that stanza could stand alone as a poem, a thought in itself. It is piercing.
Thank you!
L

Thanks as always Teddy! I

Thanks as always Teddy! I always enjoy your thoughtful comments, and glad you liked this one. Affirmative on the fan advice, LOL! I may steal your "jazz in your poetry heart" for my poetry notes journal - love this!

Best