You appearred not as prince charming but a demi god.
Broke through walls, made warm the cold heart
Debunked the lies,
And let me have a taste of love.
You didn’t only say the words, you proved them;
You showed me how beautiful trying new can be,
Let me dive unafraid into oceans,
And fly freely like a bird.
You became my solace and anchor.
You were everything perfection and positivity.
The world itself felt so alive and vibrant;
Colors made distinct sense and
Insects buzzing perfect melody.
Lost in your arms, we swam into ocean’s deep
And Without notice came the demand “icing on the cake,
An introduction to the stage of an amazing us” you said.
No was unacceptable to you as the sacrifice costly to me.
Complains became the order,
I tried to make you smile like you once did
Sang sweet symphonies in honor of you
But all pleas fell on deaf ears while you walked away,
Leaving me at the mercy of the deep.
I lost my will to survive this and let the current take over.
Here I am again in this darkness where you once rescued me from
But this time it is deadlier than it once was.
Nov 22, 2020
A TASTE OF A FAIRY TALE
About This Poem
Last Few Words: this poem captures feeling about a lost love that was stillbirth before it bloomed...
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Written...
by another lost and lonely heart. I can appreciate the emotion here. The only critique I can offer to you, is that you slipped tense, in the beginning. [Appear] should be appeared, and you should never use abreviations like [u] for you in poetry. Other than that, very good. Oh, and welcome to Neopoet, I hope you gain great satisfaction in your stay here. ~ Geezer.
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Thank you very much I really
Thank you very much I really appreciate
Dear Teddy15
Thank you for the comment I do appreciate you take on the poem