When you say love I hear hate
he showed me the signs
I was used
my heart shattered
I feel like a smashed mirror
the pain is like a tidal wave
it floods over me, drowning
why
I thought I was loved
a door shut
rejection a bee sting
slammed in my face
my tears a hurricane
my heart broken glass
never again
will I love
heart-
broken
Oct 23, 2020
Heartbroken
About This Poem
Last Few Words: My first breakup poem. Wah-wah-waaaaahhh.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Heartbroken
Hello, Viviana,
A lot of description of pain here, which fits the title for certain. I am wondering why the opening line focuses on what is heard - when what follows is so deeply felt. "...pain is like a tidal wave..." I can very much relate to that!
Thank you!
L