Lavender
Lavender
Oct 18, 2020

Setting The Table

My hands smooth over
each tight fold
in the tablecloth,
your hands
slip the warm rolls
between the sweating crystal.
We steam the silver
with our uttered breath -
rub spoons,
buff forks
as one butter knife
abandonedly slides
off the table
onto the floor.
No senseless worries -

the butter
has melted.

***

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

of the intent of this poem. It seems that you await a dinner partner, with very little for the table. [By design or happenstance]?
Waiting is the hardest part. Good idea, but I struggle to find the direction this is taking. ~ Geez.
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Lavender

Hmm...I'll need to rethink this one. My intent was a suggestive, intimate / seductive dinner for two.
Ah, well!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Very appreciated!
L

Geezer

I was bothered by the line: "I slipped the porcelain between the warm rolls and the sweating crystal". It took me a couple of reads to realize that the [porcelain] was the plates. I think that your premise is good, but it is overshadowed by the need to interpet the lines and the use of "messy folds". How about: I smoothed the folds of
tablecoth and slipped the plates
between the warm rolls
and the sweating crystal.

No need for the knife, it makes it sound like the start of a Killer poem! LoL

The real action should start at the arrival of your guest.
The long-drawn breath and exhalation could steam the forgotten silverware!
Step it up girl, envision the scene and live it! I am very interested in how you resolve
the issues. Good luck. ~ Geez.
.

Lavender

Too funny! That knife has gotta go before this turns into "Fatal Attractions!"
Always appreciate your view and comments!
Thank you!
L

Lavender

This piece needs a bit of clarification, but I'm so glad you understood its foundation!
I am well, thanks, and hope you are, too!
Thanks, Teddy!
L

Geezer

That is what I'm talking about! ~ Geez.
.