Lee
Lee
Oct 14, 2020

The Dark side of the Moon

Her precious lips fade to black
pale blue eyes glaring back
Wrinkles of skin peel away
peach tinted cheeks shed and red tethers stay

She phases to the sun and glows bright
reflections of others mirror her sight
drowning in melancholy moon light
forget the shell wrap pulled too tight

Her siren calls you to a facade
her beauty glass sparkles like a god
Insides torn to mesh and blood
steaming her nature to killer scud

The Dark side of her Moon is revealed to all
if never kept away she'd eventually fall
What we see is what we believe
and her Moon shaped mask calls us like sheep

About This Poem

Last Few Words: here you go you fucking gremlins

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Polk, USA

More from this author

Comments

Lee

sorry im just clearing up this was a poem for a contest on a different site the prompt was people have a hidden side of themselves like the dark side of the moon. thanks for the feedback i really appreciate it.

Geezer

said everything I would have said and more. I cannot elaborate on her review at all. ~ Geezer.
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C

is indeed the title of an awesome song by Pink Flloyd however titles cannot be copy written so you are safe there Your writing intrigues me in a strange way I absolutely love the way you have arranged your words I look forward to reading more of you