Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Aug 15, 2020

Beyond Words! (rewrite)

I need my words
to comfort you
with a spoken loving voice.
I can hold you
in these mortal arms,
but they do not
speak for me.

I can dry your tears
with my handkerchief,
but it tells you
only that I care.

I need words like:
concern
appreciate
cherish
affection
devotion
and adoration.

I need to tell you
that I will be there,
always for you
and then follow through.

where would I be
without my words?

*rewrite with Teddy's help ;) and Stan/Scribbler, too!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: *thank you Teddy, for your help and quick eye!

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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More from this author

Comments

R

raj

4 years 8 months ago

these verses express that your love for Steve are beyond words to describe ..such is that place you hold for your soulmate...may be "beyond words" could be a title...

pardon me if you didn't like the encore to run i posted yesterday..if so i will unpublish it..

be well..

Candlewitch

you could never do anything to upset me...why would you think that? do not unpublish!

*warmest hugs, Cat

Candlewitch

I should have marked this one "rough draft" I'm not satisfied with it :) maybe you can give me some suggestions? thank you for your kindness.

love ya, Cat

Candlewitch

I very much agree with you! thank you for the needed help! I will have to fix it tomorrow as I'm almost out of gas (or do you call it petrol?)

*love ya, Cat
-

Seren

Seren

4 years 8 months ago

Ahhhh Cat. Just this poem let me enjoy the great pleasure of reading you again. Might go have a peek at a few more when i wake up. Its 4am I never sleep anymore. It sucks. But eh ? Nothing we can do. Bear it. Just posted another new poem will be back when I wake up to read for a few hours and read some of the new people I dont know and introduce myself.

You have only gotten better Darlin'.

Biggest hugs.
J xxxxx

Candlewitch

where have ya been? I was MIA for a couple of years, lol! I'm an insomniac too. my dr. gave me a sleeping pill to help. it is called ambien, and the side effects are minimal. I don't wake up grouchy or dizzy or unrested. ask your doc about it, maybe? thanks for your comments :)

*hugs, Cat

infinite_dwarf

This write is just filled with sadness. It reminds me of the saying that actions speak louder than words.

Much love,
Jess

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 8 months ago

Dear Cat, what beautiful thoughts in your poem. I can only read and admire. You have a kind heart.
I'm off for my shower and Tai Chi, I find both very relaxing and good for my Fibromyalgia. I used to take lessons, but now I know the movements by heart. I add some of my own.
A pleasure to read you, keep safe, Gracy

Candlewitch

I'm so glad that you have something that helps you with the fibro. I have some, too, but I have to be careful with my psoriatic arthritis. I also use self-hipnosis and meditation. thank you for reading and your lovely comments!

*hugs, Cat
-

Candlewitch

thank you so very much for your kindness! and for your posting of poems. I love them so!

*hugs, your friend, Cat
-

S

Yes words are needed to convey these strong emotions. For some reason while reading I kept expecting some stanza breaks. Indeed they might give readers a pause here and there to soak up this poem a piece at a time. Just for giggles I'll copy and paste with the breaks to show you what I mean :

I need my words
to comfort you
with a spoken loving. voice.
I can hold you
in these mortal arms,
but they do not
speak for me.

I can dry your tears
with my handkerchief,
but it tells you
only that I care.

I need words like:
concern
appreciate
cherish
affection
devotion
and adoration.

I need to tell you
that I will be there,
always for you
and then follow through.

where would I be
without my words?