Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Aug 11, 2020

Diamonds or Doughnuts (revised) 08-13-20

Diamonds Or Doughnuts
(for Steven)

my heart is pressed
between the pages
of the book of you.
I see only darkness
without the light.
from your wood-smoke
colored eyes,
your soft deep voice
carries me like
a dappled daydream
over the treacherous
rocks of my perilous day.
it is your calm
sagacity which
holds my fragile sanity,
and keeps it within its
clockwork frame.
your eternal knowing
of Me keeps me
from shattering into
a thousand shards.
and I would not trade
you for diamonds nor doughnuts

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

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Comments

Candlewitch

I was sure that you would be able to relate to this little poem of mine, as it was written straight from the heart :) thanks so much for telling me. I really appreciate that. you have a great day!

*hugs, Cat

C

your wording as always is so descriptive and perfect I love this poem what a wonderful tribute to Steve

Candlewitch

you know from personal experience, just how much I adore him ;) I'm not sure just exactly what he sees in me, LOL!

love ya, Cat
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Candlewitch

aww...you are so sweet! you know me very well. and that makes you special to me also. just keep on being you!

love ya, Cat
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R

raj

4 years 8 months ago

many have already commented before me and I agree with them....all i can say is that it really seems coming from heart and you have expressed it without mincing words...wishing you and Steve a very long and continually fruitful wedded life ..

much love and warm hugs..

Geezer

that while many may express the thoughts and terms that you have, that none may really know them until they have been married for a lot of years. They may genuinely believe every word that they say, but, "the proof is in the pudding". You have the "pudding". ~ Gee.
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Geezer

I'm sure that she looks right around your big ego and finds the kind hearted, genteel man that you were when she met you and waits for you to bring her her Oh Henry's. Seriously, anyone who has managed to stay married to the same person that long, has to have some redeeming qualities. I guess she sees them. ~ Geez.
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Candlewitch

for the suggestion, I will keep that in mind for my next posts. I'm glad that you are getting to know eddy styx. just be careful...he isn't sane, LOL!

*hugs, Cat
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S

Well everybody else has left me lacking in praise of a poem baring your soul about your life's love. So I'll only suggest changing the first "me" to ME so as to emphasize his knowing the real you.