Fictions

From feckless fictions of the mind
World’s martial nations still depart:
Therein the falsehood of Mankind.

Feigning bloodshed’s cruelly kind,
Chastened with tears and severed hearts,
From reckless fictions of the mind.

Claiming glory, beauty-blind,
Forever fair the poisoned darts,
Therein the falsehood of Mankind.

Yesteryear, in distress aligned,
Crusaders tracked celestial charts,
From reckless fictions of the mind.

Gracious, thus far in truth unkind,
So starkly wise he’ll not restart,
Therein the falsehood of Mankind.

Embellished knave, heroic, blind,
Warring his sly Thespian arts;
From reckless fictions of the mind:
Therein the falsehood of Mankind.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This poem was an assignment for a poetry class ages ago. The old English is intentional. Please, can the experts correct all that is wrong? Thanks you.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Río Negro, Argentine Patagonia , ARG

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath

Comments

I am so glad...

that you finally got your work to post, don't know what happend, but evidently things worked out. Okay, I am definitely not an expert. I think there are a couple of people that may be able to help you though. Maybe jerry or Alan can help you. I liked it very much and would certainly say that it is still relevent. ~ Geez.
.

Yes, I finally managed to

Yes, I finally managed to post it, Geez. Sometimes there's a glitch, probably in my own mind. Thanks for visiting and commenting. I also think it relevant, so I fished it from my archives. Best, Gracy

Thank you, Jerry. I'm glad it

Thank you, Jerry. I'm glad it meets the requirements. Yes, I know about Thespis and ancient theatre arts. Women were not allowed to view some rude comedies, such as those of Aristophanes and Menander, especially The Birds or The Grouch, to name a few.
I'm not surprised it doesn't touch you in any way, I'm just happy to have composed it at all! I asked for the raw truth, so it's all good. Best, Gracy

Gracy

intricate and thought provoking

Hi lynn, yes, Villanelles are

Hi lynn, yes, Villanelles are intricate, difficult to compose. I actually did this when I was a teennager in high school!
Got Jerry's approval, but it doesn't touch him. I'm glad you find it thought provoking. All the best, Gracy

Hi Gracy

I see a distinct pattern in rhyme not only in the stanzas singularly but also in the stanzas ...would be interesting to know what form this is...ofcourse i would not be able to comment being an amateur but will look forward to know / learn more..

regards,

Hi raj, thanks so much for

Hi raj, thanks so much for visiting and commenting. The form is a Villanelle, it started in Italy, I believe, Italian is one of the "romance" languages. It then spread to France and finally became universal.
One composes three strophes with some repetitions, as you'll notice, then the last strophe contains three verses from the first strophes, plus one new verse. Hope that's clear!
I wrote it with oldish English words, tho' Jerry says they're up to date. Whatever, I composed it as a teennager in high school because it was an assignment. I fished it out of forgotten archives. My PC is full of stuff I've forgotten!
All the best, Gracy

Hi Gracy

Truly appreciate your explaining in detail the structure/form of Villanelle...I might be tempted to write one....

good learning for me...

Hi again, raj. I'm so glad

Hi again, raj. I'm so glad you're interested in this form as well as others. Do try your pen at it, I'm sure you'll compose a beautiful Villanelle. You could also begin with a Cinquain, which is easier. You can google it; if I have time, I'll post a couple tomorrow. Maybe I already did.
All the best, Gracy

Dear Jerry, I was not in the

Dear Jerry, I was not in the least offended. Fact is, I think you're right. It was a task and I wrote about the topic assigned us.
I now think it's adequate for the present situation, well, past, present and future. I don't believe humankind will ever change. Only superficially, sad to say.
All the best, hope you're well now, Gracy

OK, I'll enjoy giving you 15+

OK, I'll enjoy giving you 15+ virtual lashes. Bare your back, Sir Jerry. There they go, are you feeling redeemed?
Best put some medical balm on the wounds, get well soon, Gracy

Haha!! Nice game, Sir. Glad

Haha!! Nice game, Sir. Glad you're a good boy now. Sleep well and untroubled by guilt. Best, Gracy

hello Gracy,

reading your poem strongly reminds me how history repeats itself. lately I am disappointed in "mankind" thank you for this.

always, Cat

Hello Cat, I'm afraid I agree

Hello Cat, I'm afraid I agree with you. My late husband wrote an essay on "non change and the principle of recalcitrance". It won a prize from Espasa Calpe, the Spanish publishers. I helped him translate it into English, still working on it, it's quite a task.
Thanks for stopping by, keep safe, Gracy