When You are alone the sadness sets in and your depression begins . your are a sad sad swan swimming in your lonesome pond sadly softly singing your love song hopefully someones heart hears and decides to swim towards the pond and willingly wants to have a bond with you the swan of sadness. And you now feeling a flamboyant flame in your heart finally Flying with them like a dove and finally dive deep into the luscious lake of love.
Jul 28, 2020
When you are alone
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
When You Are Alone
Hi, Edward,
Your language is beautiful - soft and tender then strong and bold. But what I love about your poetry, especially this piece, is the build up, the increase in movement and motion and the wonderful way you have one's heart "dive deep into a luscious lake of love." True - the only way to fully understand the lake of love is to dive deeply into it. Wonderful.
Thank you!
L
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Hi Edward
Your lovely theme scripted in prose transformed nicely by Teddy in poetic form....
Thank you
Thank you