Dalton
Jul 12, 2020

Psapfo 13

Music is the moistener
of vaginas

a precious lubricant
to ease the pearl

in her ecstasy
the lyre must be present

before the wine
of Afrodiiti maybe consumed

let flow the sacred
ambrosia

to cast her divinity
into human form...

About This Poem

Last Few Words: not sure if a euphemism for vagina should be used?

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United Kingdom

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

you're good. The spelling is Aphrodite. Music does soothe the savage breast, but I'm not sure about the vagina though, most all of my women have not liked music playing in the boudoir. ~ Geezer.
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D

Afroditi is a permissible variant just as Psapfo is a variant spelling of Sappho. Music in particular the lyre was the ritual accompaniment of her poetry 600 BC for me the art of making love to a woman can be easily compared to the artistry of a musician. not that I've had that great of a number of experiences thats the gist of the poem what I was going for. Its part of a cycle not all have been submitted here on Neopoet

D

does that make it any clearer what I wanted to portray I guess the poems quite simple but all those elements I wished to put across I may have failed?

Geezer

I was trying for a glib or flip answer, and I'm the one who failed. I understand where this was supposed to go and although I missed out on giving a deeper, more through answer, I do feel that you have connected with the general reader. My apologies. ~ Geezer.
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D

I don't feel you have anything to apologise for all opinions are welcome and its how I learn listening to what other people think of my poems

Geezer

I was trying for a glib or flip answer, and I'm the one who failed. I understand where this was supposed to go and although I missed out on giving a deeper, more through answer, I do feel that you have connected with the general reader. My apologies. ~ Geezer.
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Geezer

I was trying for a glib or flip answer and I'm the one who failed here. I do see where this one is supposed to go and I failed to communicate that with you. I think that of the ones that have commented, they have gotten the point and were pleased with it.
My apologies, ~ Geezer.
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