scribbler
Feb 10, 2011

THE DELIVERY

I came to be inside of her
on a night of fun and laughter
how long in here will I endure
or, upon exit, what comes after

Nutrition causes me to grow
and her belly to swell
but I remain here even so
and get along quite well

The longer that I stay inside
the bigger that I get
When will I see the world outside
in here it's getting tight and wet

Now what was that ? A muscle cramp !
while she's in a big ol' crowd
no matter how hard she may clamp
ere long I'll leave and make her proud

A final push and now I'm out
onlookers aren't doing their part
they gasp and giggle, even shout
you'd think they'd never smelled a fart

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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More from this author

Comments

S

You should know better than to expect empathy from me lol. And I was unaware you had written a book............................stan

S

Imagime that, an American writing about farts lol.............stan

Psyve

Psyve

14 years 2 months ago

That last line was a sucker-punch. Had to laugh out loud at the sudden change in meaning.
Like Shirley, I too thought you were going for a more conventional pregnancy.... :-)

The meter of this one fooled me for a while.... lines two and four were typically longer than I expected... till i realised what meter you were going for and its near perfect...

Nicely done.

Psyve

S

I like to get a laugh every once and a while . As to meter, I just try to write what sounds OK when read aloud. I appreciate your dropping by....................scribbler

S

Anna is so dainty
and learned in poetic art
hence it comes as no surprise
that she doesn't ever fart

She holds all her winds inside
till she comes to Neopoet
where she knows she'll be forgiven
every time she blows it.....................................lmao................scribbler

K

Hehehehe.... now this is the type of poem I love in * my honour*....thank you you're always a gentleman and a scholar.

Look out below! Thar she blows! She's a whale of a tale!

;-)

~A

did you notice the scribe jotting down some lines?
furiously uprooting the nouns and verbs for verses and curses
it's just like him to insert suppositions into the prepositions
and thereby guarantee to shrink the hemorrhoids of androids on steroids.

Love ya,

S

always good to bring a smile to a friend's face.......................stan

P

sucked me in completely ...here i was thinking
what a sensitve guy, to be writing of a birth

the last line made me laugh out loud

took me a couple of reads to find all
the rhythm, but when i did ... great meter!

If your bottom burps in public
try to say in time,
"Good gracious me, what a whiff!
it doesn't smell like mine"

very funny mr s ...very clever

cheers
p