A budding flower
in a vestige of Eden
chasing Gauloises
after Gauloises on the bed
at the centre of a half imagined city
as all things are barely sustained
by the human mind
I contemplate your navel
and forgive your naïve outbursts
today I feel as though I am
a thousand years old
I make trek of the saliva line
from your jutting mounds
to the divine vale of your sex
Your parents do not approve
of a fool who lists
the attributes of love
as means of sustenance
lines on a page
you are water to the soul
a means of access to the human heart
Flora is your name
an epithet full apposite
to your wild nature
we are as real at this moment
as letter after letter
poems on a page
fire beneath the skin
that rises like a natural element
Comments
Written as...
a poet of love would write. We are as we profess to be, only as long as it takes for the shine to wear off. I think the parents are right. LoL
~ Geezer.
.
hi Geezer
certainly some don't approve of poetry. honesty is always the best way to be if a poem is bad it needs to be stated
Love Is It's Own Element
Hello, Dalton,
There is something very intriguing about your poem that has caused me to read it several times. It has several 'elements' in itself. I feel the presence of perhaps Eve, a romantic French setting, an exhaustion but then a revival all leading up to a unique love like no other, but yet, so real it is a natural element. I will come back and read again after more comments.
Thank you!
Lavender
wow thanks Lavender, love is
wow thanks Lavender, love is the same no matter how far it exists over the years
A good write, with nice
A good write, with nice imagery - thank you! Maybe consider a reshuffling of the third stanza for clarity of meaning:
Your parents do not approve
of a fool who lists
an attribute of love
as lines on a page,
A means of sustenance,
you are water to the soul
allowing access to the human heart
Nit: S4, L2 - "Fully"
Hope to see more from you!
Cheers
dear Dalton,
a magnificent piece of poetry. with vibrant imagery. I close my eyes and see it in sections! I have a question for you: who or what is (Gauloises)? my favorite lines are:
Flora is your name
an epithet full apposite
to your wild nature
we are as real at this moment
as letter after letter
poems on a page
fire beneath the skin
*hugs, Cat
Dearest Cat
Gauloises are a brand of French cigarettes :) Thanks so much for reading and highlighting your favourite lines. I'll be certain to return the favour :)
dear Dalton,
thank you for the explanation...are they the gold tipped ones with different colors (of body)? and I would be honored to have you reading my work!
*hugs, Cat
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