I was unmasked by insecurity
when first faced with your purity
now aware that wind swept lullaby's
cradled promise untold, always
nurtured never scold.
with anxious delegation watching
you both unfold, kissing your little
fingers and toes, now standing on
your own two feet first memories of
this still so sweet, this I remember
so time will never delete.
precious years pass as the clock
tick tock ticks, you've grown so tall
from small finding it hard to stand
aside when steps lead to strides
taking five to summarise.
my pride, my flesh such joy
no one else compares eternally
snared a love divided shared.
Comments
My friend,
My friend this is beautiful poem, your girls are lucky to have such a caring father, I can only critique your title, as i'm sure you mean angels. Regards Roscoe...
hi there
cheers for the comment , big oops I can't believe I got that wrong
In a rush as always lol , fixed now thank you my kids are my everything
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
hi again
hi your happy face is always welcome to my corner
I am trilled you think this is OK, this left me with a tear also
and thank you for the thumbs up on this as I wanted to get
it right for obvious reasons , they are my everything cheers have
a good weekend ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs xx
Ziggy
Created with love and great depth of feeling
Love Lou
hi louise
hi there thank you for the comment
my kids are everything to me ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
hi jayne
WOw I was not expecting a comment like that thank you my dear
I wrote this mts ago and was looking through my list of one's I
have not posted yet thank you ,,,,,,,,,zigs x
Ziggy
Ziggy,
some say I shouldn't use certain words when commenting...but this is 'beautiful'.
It is dufficult to critique something when clearly so close to your heart. I know how dear your girls are to you and how badly you miss them.
I really liked the rhyming sequence you've added. Rhyme can cheapen a poem, but not in this case.
I will follow in line with Jayne with an applause and a bow.
HS
hi hood
yes what some say lol I don't give a hoot what ,,,,,,,,lol
thank you hood folk are welcome to crit the words but
not the theme, I miss the kids when I don't see them but
I do see them every other day , cheers for stopping bye ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
Dear Ziggy,
With this line:
cradled promise untold, always
nurtured never scold.
should "nurtured" be "nurture" to go along with "scold"
if you use nurtured then should "scold" be "scolded"?
That was the only rough spot for me. Otherwise the poem is lovely! I can see the fatherly pride in this. My favorite lines are the same as Shirl's.
love, Cat
hi cat
thank you for the comment, I guess I'll go with
the latter change I never saw that so ty for that
I will change it cheers ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs