scribbler
Dec 03, 2018

COLD RAIN'S RETREAT

Left over drops from last night's rain
hesitantly release from bare twigs
slowly beating a random refrain
on my hat which shelters naught but sprigs
in a wind from frigid northern lands.

Carefully I place my feet
on this hillside drenched and slick.
I pause, considering retreat
as far above the bare limbs click
beneath the fleeing storm clouds' bands.

But stubborn cuss that I've become
I decide to just keep going forth
though cold winds now turn my grip numb
this hike's somehow tied to my self worth
here between the pine and hardwood stands.

Slowly, carefully I go
for old men do well to stay erect.
Time assures that any falls we sow
harvest pain from all the past's neglect
as sure as any reprimands.

Then I stop as time nears eve o'clock
and look over this cold fading place
and decide it's time that I retrace my walk
back to my hearth and the warm grace
of my life love's kind warm hands.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Cloudthings

What's this doing in undiscovered works? Enjoyed this, & all this time I was thinking you were a spritely young-un. I got such a warm & inclusive feel off this one, even though the walk was solitary, the work is so amicable, I like that.

I had to work a little to get the flow (& I have no idea of technical terminology poetically speaking), but I got the last line always rhyming when I reached about 1/2 way through & that made more sense to me... On this I relate to it more as a lyric (as that is my world) with the last line being "sung" to a kind of "refrain" tune that ties it to the other end lines in each stanza (Am I making sense?) So it came more easily thinking of it that way.

Anyway (so odd that it's opposite seasons over here) I really enjoyed your walk in the post rained on trees & such & it was a pleasure to find this poem sitting lonely & unread... Thank you, Muchly enjoyed.

S

I'd actually forgotten about this one lol. I write a poem with this structure every once in a while. I saw one done this way a good while back, liked it and thus use it once in a while myself lol. Always good to see you've dropped by......stan

S

I still keep on reviewing even my oldest stuff and doing edits which is what brought this oldie ( the poem not me ) back on stream. I'm please you dropped by for a read

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 10 months ago

Hi Stan, lovely poem about nature, walks, weather and best of all, the warm hearth and the loving spouse. I also keep updating or tweaking old poems. I'll return, it's my supper time.
Best, Gracy

S

This is the type of poetry I prefer to write but it seems there has come a time for me to at last write ugly poems about ugly times. But never fear I'll still keep abusing you with some nature based writes lol

lovedly

reading all your poems
is a treat

I am still looking forwards
to your final printed deed
where lies it
is the publisher
STILL
asleep
wake him up please
my time is coming soonly
don't at least me displease
lol
l o v e d l y

lovedly

all my pubs-kind fleeced me
but made lots of money
Gave me a few copies
I had paid for the whole lot

Pub had no investment
but ate all eggs
as and when they hatched
so Stan do take care
PUBS writers scare