Enough is Enough

The world is fed up with vampires,
with law-breakers and sick lust-seekers,
with those who relish torturing others,
with muggers and phoney preachers.
We can't breath, we can't breath.

So streets flood with protesters,
calling for the forsaken peace,
"ain't dreams legal?" Ask right- protectors
why has justice then to cease?
We can't breath, we can't breathe.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Hi Rula

I assume this is about the murder of a police captive by a policeman as 3 other policemen who had sworn to serve and protect did neither. I fully agree that the protests are both needed and worthwhile. But the rioters, looters and arsonists have now ruined a narrative which had begun. As usual you have been spare of words but clear to intent

Say What!

Scribbler, you miss the point; you miss the message the beautiful poem conveys. And I think your bias hinders you from getting there. First, the poem sheds light on the systemic injustices that are as old as the country, and under which African-Americans have lived and operated for over 400 years. And you do not throw up flimsy excuses like looting and rioting to distract and fog the real and needed conversation toward creating a more perfect union. Let go your bias, it has never worked.

No

I do understand that racism and injustice still exists both here and elsewhere. And I also think the murder of the innocent black man had so horrified almost everybody that the badly needed conversation on the subject was in the process of beginning. but then the looting began and the chance went away. I hope the conversation can begin again if the riots ever stop but that remains to be seen because far too many politicians on both sides build their careers on keeping people divided.

Stan and Chima

Thanks for reading and commenting.
I admit that Floyd's inspired the piece, but we as dream makers and poets have to deliver universal messages.
Justice has to prevail for everyone and everywhere. I think we all agree upon this, aren't we?
However, I think this is a kind of conflict that is hard to get a full agreement upon. What may look justice for you won't be for another.

Hello dear Rula

Hello dear Rula
your poem hits home and it made me very sad because all through history it has always been the same. Will the human race ever become brothers and sisters?

Totally agree

dear Mark... always appreciate your thoughtful comments

I try

my best to deliver a sound message in my writing. I might not always succeed, but trying never hurts I believe.
Thank you dear for stopping by with such nice comment.

Hi Rula, your poem is

Hi Rula, your poem is powerful and shows the truth of horrible injusticies committed in the last weeks and about 400 years. Others have already said as much, so I've just tweaked your S1 a little, for you to TorT.

The world is fed up with (the) vampires,
with law-breakers and sick lust-seekers,
with those who relish (for) torturing others,
with muggers (and) [along with] phoney preachers.
We can't breath, we can't breath.

Thank you for sharing this with all of us. In Argentina there are riots also. The indigenous people are dying of C far more than the rest. Also the poor in the slums. There have always been slums, starvation, wars, pestilence, etc., I wonder when humankind will learn to be loving and peaceful. If one reads Revelations, it's all there, pestilence, locusts, dying crops, fear and death. So it seems nothing will change, I fear.
God bless, Gracy

Dear Gracy

You're always generous with thoughtful feedback. I went with your suggestion for a better flow indeed.
Thank you dear

It doesn't take much...

for a person who really thinks; to imagine what will come of the overpopulation of the world. Whether it come in a couple of hundred years, some thousand or thousands or maybe even tomorrow. You don't need Revelations or prophesy of any kind to see that if we do not change the way that humankind treats the Earth and his fellow human beings, it will happen. But though it has been prophesied, [by whomever] we can change it. As was said by Ronald Reagan: " If it were to happen that we would be attacked by aliens from space, we would soon find that we are as one people, for the enemy of my enemy is my friend."
Not an exact quote, but close enough. What I mean to say, is that if we begin to think of racism and hatred as our enemy, we can overcome them and become the world we should be. I applaud your message and hope that writers like you can make it come true. ~ Geezer.
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