Lavender
Lavender
May 19, 2020

For Bob

It was a winter dance
in nineteen seventy-four.
A hundred years ago,
yet, here you are.
Did you know
how classy you were
at seventeen?
Well, I will tell you.
Your eyes confessed
more hope
than truth,
and your silence consoled
more prayer
than thought.

I will tell you that
dancing
was a level
of heaven
and the snow that night
promised peace on earth.
When the dance was over,
and summer took you from us,
there was such a pause
that even silence
fell to her knees
and seventeen
remained seventeen
forever.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 11 months ago

So sweet and poignant. Is it what I think that it is? Was a seventeen year old handsome, classy boy taken from you in the summer of 1974? Speaking of classy; that's what this is. A classic example of a memory that stays with you forever. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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Lavender

Hyperventilated with this one. Yes, he was an angel, is an angel. No exaggeration. Brain tumor, but tremendous amount of courage and faith. Still miss him dearly. So glad I have memories. I appreciate all your help. Thanks so much.
L

C

only thing is the use of I will tell you so close to each other
wow otherwise this left me speechless

Lavender

I can only imagine the lovely music from your Strad. The violin is such a beautiful instrument. You have the best of both loves! Thank you for reading!
L

Lavender

Thank you for spending time here! I appreciate it so very much.
Will change to 'nineteen seventy-four.'
Agree with separating into two stanzas, and also appreciate learning a new poetry term - 'volta!' :)
I've been called out before using 'and' too often and too close together. Will change that.
I love personifying 'silence' to 'her' - absolutely wonderful! (Really wish I had thought of that one!)
Not certain about describing the snow with an adjective, will think that over.
Will also think over 'held' - I feel it needs to remain a somewhat simple conversation. May take a bit of thought there.

I am always flattered when someone reads my poetry, and doubly so when they bring such insight. I've learned quite a bit here, and hope to continue to grow.

Thanks, again!
L