It was a winter dance
in nineteen seventy-four.
A hundred years ago,
yet, here you are.
Did you know
how classy you were
at seventeen?
Well, I will tell you.
Your eyes confessed
more hope
than truth,
and your silence consoled
more prayer
than thought.
I will tell you that
dancing
was a level
of heaven
and the snow that night
promised peace on earth.
When the dance was over,
and summer took you from us,
there was such a pause
that even silence
fell to her knees
and seventeen
remained seventeen
forever.
Comments
Oooooh...
So sweet and poignant. Is it what I think that it is? Was a seventeen year old handsome, classy boy taken from you in the summer of 1974? Speaking of classy; that's what this is. A classic example of a memory that stays with you forever. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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Hi, Geezer
Hyperventilated with this one. Yes, he was an angel, is an angel. No exaggeration. Brain tumor, but tremendous amount of courage and faith. Still miss him dearly. So glad I have memories. I appreciate all your help. Thanks so much.
L
This is...
my pleasure, I enjoy working with everyone here. ~ Geezer.
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Hello, Teddy
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, and for reading!
L
lavender
only thing is the use of I will tell you so close to each other
wow otherwise this left me speechless
Yeah...
maybe could use, "I can tell you"? ~ Geezer.
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Hi, Geezer
I agree, and will work on that.
Thank you!
L
Hi, Chrys
Good suggestion. I'll think it over a bit.
Thank you!
L
Hi, Jerry
I can only imagine the lovely music from your Strad. The violin is such a beautiful instrument. You have the best of both loves! Thank you for reading!
L
Hello, Alan!
Thank you for spending time here! I appreciate it so very much.
Will change to 'nineteen seventy-four.'
Agree with separating into two stanzas, and also appreciate learning a new poetry term - 'volta!' :)
I've been called out before using 'and' too often and too close together. Will change that.
I love personifying 'silence' to 'her' - absolutely wonderful! (Really wish I had thought of that one!)
Not certain about describing the snow with an adjective, will think that over.
Will also think over 'held' - I feel it needs to remain a somewhat simple conversation. May take a bit of thought there.
I am always flattered when someone reads my poetry, and doubly so when they bring such insight. I've learned quite a bit here, and hope to continue to grow.
Thanks, again!
L