Gracy
Gracy
May 05, 2020

Maelstrom (For May Contest)

A man is pitched through the door
by blasts from steppes.
Scrub and cactus land,
Earth’s belly has been ripped open,
giving birth to grit and death.
Gloom is ushered in by a maelstrom of dust.
Tumbleweed scratches at windows,
spidery skeletons seeking shelter
from relentless wind.

Our orchard, clothed in pale shrouds,
gashed trees lean on sheds and plough.
Earth’s face is prematurely wrinkled, dry.
Trampled on for centuries by cloven hooves of alien herds.
She’s powder, an earthen pyre, raped by human forces
devouring rich layers of fertility. Not a drop of rain in eons;
on this devastation lie the dying... lies all hope.

My husband's face is seared with dust,
eyelids heavy with gray desperation.
Sweat has succumbed to an earthy mask,
dry runnels on his cheeks, scarred hole of his mouth.
No man ever gained over December’s wind.
He drops his clothes in a heap,
opens his arms to my cool body,
presses me tight to his patient heart.
Uncanny silence,
a sickle moon knives Patagonian skies,
overlooking centennial shadows
cast in sword and catastrophe.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Río Negro, Argentine Patagonia , ARG

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 11 months ago

a day in the life of a farmer of a failing farm. Such emotion is hard to fake. I know that you must have seen this and I feel almost ashamed to have such a wealth of good land to have a garden and grow whatever I want. My favorite lines:

"My husband's face is seared with dust,
eyelids heavy with gray desperation.
Sweat has succumbed to an earthy mask,
dry runnels on his cheeks, scarred hole of his mouth."
.
It clearly shows the desperate attempt to wrest a living from a land that is not cooperating. Nice work, ! ~ Geezer.
.

C

It took a couple of reads to get the full affect of this poem. After doing so I found something flawless and full of descriptive lines
well done

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 11 months ago

Hi Geez, fortunately that's about an estancia/ranch that my Dad administrated. We used to go by earth road there about once a month. The sheep that colonizers had brought about 3 centuries before have ruined the land with their cloven hooves. Autoctonous animals, such as the guanaco, a camiladae with padded feet, do not raze the earth. There was an orchard on the estancia, that's part of what I say in my poem.
Rather it's humankind that doesn't cooperate, don't you think?
We lived on a lovely farm in an irrigated valley, much as you describe yours. Glad you appreciate my poem.

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 11 months ago

lynn, thanks for your comments. I know, I tend to make things difficult. I've been criticized for that. Glad you understood it. I've answered Geez above, if you wish for more explanations. Glad you appreciate it. Best!

lovedly

beautiful and touching
I can relate to it
lost so much in my life

None can help it
so silly folks call it destiny
man's unknown creation
what agony!