c lynn brooks
May 12, 2020

Serenity

Gazing over the ocean
to a place where the sky meets the sea
the setting sun leaves a bleeding wound
that can only be healed
by the rising moon

The seagulls take to their final flight
while sandpipers scurry
before the arrival of night

Crashing waves rolling in
with changing tides
leaving an amalgam of seaweed and brine
and a place for little creatures to hide

Now say goodbye
to another sun
for serenity and peace
to the sea I come

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north carolina usa, USA

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen

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Comments

Rula

Rula

4 years 11 months ago

what a descriptive piece. Could be a good example of show poetry. I aslo learnt two words or three in stanza 3 which is also my favorite.
I very much enjoyed reading your words
Thank you for sharing this beautiful scene

C

you are always too kind and generous . curiosity has the better of me what two words

Rula

I am not familiar with the sandpiper as we are far from any sea or ocean shores.
The two words are amalgam and scurry.
Now i need to use them sooner so as to forget them.
Thank you

C

Thank you so much as you can tell I so love the ocean and I am truly at peace there just the sound of the crashing waves is awesome

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 11 months ago

Lovely poem, lynn. Leaves me feeling serene, despite lockdown. I feel you could do away with a few articles, such as in the strophe below.

Crashing waves rolling in
with (the) changing tides
leaving an amalgam of seaweed and brine
and a place for (the) little creatures to hide.

Just thoughts of my own, otherwise enjoyed.

C

thank you for stopping in
I will look at your suggestions thoughtfully
and see what might happen when I apply them
i have omitted your suggestions and yes it flows better thank you

Lavender

Hi, Chrys,
You have captured the essence of a sunset - a very sensory experience. Beautiful.
Thank you!
L