lovedly
lovedly
Apr 02, 2020

Night is Young

Every night
before I sleep
get a feeling
am young still

as I slumber deep
can no more sleep
with open eyes
i sweep across my life
as it passes by

Then I twist and twirl
my body says stay still

no one knows
whether I am alive
my night passes
steadily
hoping I will live

Though deaf
I can hear clearly
the sun's rays
smile at me

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Daily I see dawn when I go to sleep Lonely nights

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

Rula

The last two lines in the stanza before the last to avoid some repetition

(the sun rays say
wake up Lovedy)

A perfect ending.... I really like it.

lovedly

NIGHT IS YOUNG

Such a brilliant description of one's feeling of restlessness when one goes to sleep at night. Loved the way you have crafted the poem. It is such a delight to read it. Thanks a ton for sharing.10+++

the night is young poem

Gracy

I would just tweak a couple of words to polish it up. In the second strophe you have two "buts" that can easily be removed. There are several extra "buts", I would remove most of them. TorT. Enjoyed a lot lovedly.