c lynn brooks
Mar 10, 2020

Welcome to a lost friend

Breathe deep the air of forgetfulness
and savor sweet fragrances of spring
as winter makes her exit

Welcome quiet breezes blending
with the new birth of nature
when all burst forth in color,scent and sound

The world will awaken to a tender touch of rain
forming concentric circles
on a dry thirsty land

Listen as birds call to their mates
singing that they have awaited for this date
bright colors flashing from tree upon tree

Humanity awakens with a brand new fervor
cabin weary folk looking forward towards the sun
awaken world
new life has begun

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north carolina usa, USA

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen

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Comments

Geezer

I think if I were to use the word [awaited], I would do like this: singing of this long awaited date]. Other than that, I think this is a fine poem about Spring. ~ Geezer.
.

Gracy

Gracy

5 years 1 month ago

Lovely imagery here, lynn. I would cut out a few "the's", that's all.

"and savor sweet fragrances of spring"

Welcome (the) quiet breezes blending
with the (new) birth of nature

Just a couple of examples. I believe poems should be less wordy. But it's fine as is.

Eumolpus

wish I could agree Humanity awakens. I'm stuck at home because everything around me is closing for the virus, not to mention Trump, the geopolitical climate, the stock market, pandemics, Trump, racism, refugees, hatred, Trump, homelessness, extinction of species, mass stupidity, Trump, etc...

But sing as you must! Perhaps the poem might work a bit also in first person! That new life begins in you. For us...maybe could an inspiration in a world feeling on the edge of disasters...

...

C

But we must have some good in our lives . So why not let spring inspire us.
as you say "perhaps"