Riding the Storm
The air feels heavy
as colour leaches out of the daylight
greyness turns coppery and progresses
to near darkness
Lightening flares and strobes across the sky
as thunder rolls like cannonades
the world is phosophorus illuminated
then fades back to near darkness
The storm is closer count the time
between flash and thunder
only a mile away
the trees are beginning to agitate in
the strengthening wind
rain is spattering on the roof light for now
Goosebumps stand proud on my arms
my breath gets faster
I anticipate the power of the storm to come
I sink into the power of your embrace
the air sparkles and my mind is filled with pleasure
Samantha Beardon
Comments
cool
I like it and I don't think you need to change it. :)
Nice stuff...
I've always liked storms, [as long as I don't have to be out in them]. I suggest that you reverse your colors to say:
and the copper sky turns to grey. Try : The world is phosphorus illuminated then fades back to near black. Although, phosphorus makes for a weaker light than say, strobe?
Try: light rain spatters the roof now. and lastly, The warmth or strength of your embrace, rather than: the [power]. Just suggestions and you may certainly think of better ways to say them. ~ Geezer.
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Great poem. I also like
Great poem. I also like storms, except when extreme as they are with climate change. My only suggestion is that you remove some "the's". They are abundant and often not necessary.
I'll return for another read. Enjoyed.
Thanks Gracy
This is sitting in the the pile of awaiting further thought. I will certainly look at 'the' when I reedit. Sam.