Storms beat like a restless drum
Forcing leaves on fragile stems
To bend and send our feathered friends
to fear the worst when gales impend,
to reel, deal a force of steel.
which hurls, its whirls a frigid feel.
Its harsh, unforgiving bite
The final stance of winter's plight.
Before it’s sudden bid adieu,
Spring leaps in to spell anew.
Its spritely enigmatic charm
A tender touch
Can do no harm.
Beguiling nature to its grace,
Its fruitful loving warm embrace.
Whilst colours bloom
A wondrous sight
As nature basks in spring's delight.
Comments
Hi LittleGift, your poem is
Hi LittleGift, your poem is so colorful as well as musical. I see little to crit, just maybe some punctuation. I think it should be "spring's" as well as "winter's plight". In L2 I would remove the comma after bend. Also after friends.
In S2, L2 you don't need "and", I think. Also no comma after charm, in L4. It seems to me you don't need a comma after "sight". Otherwise, this poem is a winner, so deftly crafted and spot on the topic of early Spring. Congrats!
Thank you
Gracy, thank you so much for helping me. I think I managed to edit it as you said. Thanks for the support and kind words. I feel I have much to learn but I am loving it
Many thanks
LG
Yay
Yay thank you Alan, I will work on those fixes shortly. Thanks for reading and the helpful advise. Always appreciated
Kindest regards
LG :)
Just wanted...
to stop by and let you know that this is really good! I see that you have all the critique you need, so I'm not going to offer any more. Nice stuff! ~ Geezer.
.
So nice
Thank you for being so nice and leaving me such lovely feedback. Will edit it shortly. Many thanks for reading it for me
Kind regards
LG
Heylilgift
the only suggestion I might make is there are to many "ands" in this write other than that it was delightful to read
Edited
Hello, so I edited, making the changes advised. I attempted to remove the ands. I ended up with just one and in the piece. I hope I have done things right. Please feel free to let me know if I haven't
Kind regards and thanks so much
LG
Thanks
Thanks so much for the help. I am going to work on improving it. It's been great getting constructive feedback
Kind regards
LG
Thank you
Thanks so much for the help. I am going to work on improving it. It's been great getting constructive feedback
Kind regards
LG